Thursday, January 10, 2013

Five Responsibilities of a Mother with Sons: Prevent #violence against #women

I can't help but be saddened by the recent events of violence against women. The horrifying gang rape of a woman in India has sparked outrage and protests across the country. (See News Story here, and her boyfriend's interview here.) Meanwhile, women are being raped in the U.S. Military by fellow service men, and ordinary women live in fear [see I was almost raped].

Everywhere, warnings abound to women. Do this, don't do that. Carry an umbrella, don't talk on your cell phone while getting into your car. But the root cause is not women texting in their car or walking alone into a parking garage. It is the men who are the perpetrators and believe it is okay to objectify and violate women.

If you have a son, here are five things you must do.

1. Demand that your sons respect you. Even as a young toddler, do not allow your sons to beat on you, yell or scream at you or talk down to you. Yes, they are babies and all babies throw tantrums. But never allow violent behavior. If a child (yes, this applies to girls too) hits you, take them aside and impress upon them firmly that this behavior is unacceptable. Your disapproval and time outs to teach the child to calm down should be applied consistently. Do not ever think it is "cute."

2. Do not ever allow your sons to hit any girl. I'm sorry, but this feminist movement has gone too far. When I was young, or actually before I was born, men did not hit women. Boys did not hit girls. At least not in movies or TV shows. Today, movies show women fighting men. With the advent of kung-fu and martial arts movies, producers have latched onto the tough-girl-kicks-butt heroine. By watching these fights, it definitely immunizes men against the "shock" of seeing a man hit a woman.

3. If your child plays video games. Encourage him to choose opponents who are monsters or male characters. Again, you do not want your child to viscerally feel that shooting, hitting, or slicing women is acceptable. Video games can feel very realistic to a child or even an adult.

4. When your sons get to dating age, impress on them that they should never, ever be aggressive with any woman. If the woman wants a kiss and later changes her mind, they need to hold back. It is better to be on the safe side than be accused of harassment. Reality is not what is written in romance novels which brings me to romance writers who are mothers. Do you really want those bad boys to be inflicted on your daughters? Do you want your sons to act that way? Granted there is the difference between fantasy and reality, but as I commented on a blog to a man who said he might want to start acting like the hero of Fifty Shades, no way buddy, definitely do not try this in real life.

5. Finally, and most importantly. Respect yourself and do not let any man abuse you. This is more important than everything you "say." You know, show versus tell? Your sons are watching you more than listening to you.

Stop violence against women one boy at a time. We can do it!

Unfortunately, women need to be prepared and not naive. So here are some common sense warnings for women shared from Thought for the Day Facebook Page

Read through this! I never thought about the sitting in the car and checking my phone thing, or looking for vans or males sitting alone on the passenger side of their car in a parking lot.

"THROUGH A RAPIST'S EYES" (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. it may save a life.) Click Share Button to share it on your Wall.

It seems that a lot of attackers use some tactic to get away with violence. Not many people know how to take care of themselves when faced with such a situation. Everyone should read this especially each and every girl in this world.


Through a rapist's eyes! A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women whose clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.

5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.

6] Number three is public restrooms.

7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.

8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.


1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can't believe it is so cold out here, we're in for a bad winter. Now that you've seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.

2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

4] If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and
armpit or in the upper inner thigh - HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of
trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.

6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked

7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, and go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.


I know you are smart enough to know these pointers but there will be some, where you will go "hmm I must remember that" After reading, forward it to someone you care about, never hurts to be careful in
this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.

2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans: if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you.... chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit
(doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS, LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:

a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side, peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. (DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB).

b. If you! U are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

c. Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard /policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle. I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers,
wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto them, as well.

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it's better safe than sorry.

If u have a heart or compassion share this photo.


‘Helping hands are better than Praying Lips’ – give us your helping hand.


Friends So Please Share....Your one share can Help to spread this information. We share So many Stupid Things on Facebook and ignore these types of things which can save so many lives’s...

Take care.


  1. Great post! Thanks for all the inciting information. I think it is important to remember that it is not the victims fault but the attacker/abusers. But it is also important to be empowered and not to be a 'victim'. Attacker look for easy targets. I also agree that it is important to talk to boys and teach them. At one time it was standard that a man could hit/beat his wife. It wasn't until just recently (last 10 years) that laws were put in place to protect women. Every day I am shocked by the stats! It is so important to raise awareness!

  2. yes, you're so right. I benefited from my mother-in-law instilling into her son that women are not to be pushed around, and not to be aggressive while dating. And I want to pass that on.

  3. You barely scratched the surface of the problem. In my opinion, women are doing a poor job of mothering their sons. How many of them feel disdain for men, for whatever reason, and pass it along to their sons? How many of them truly love their sons unconditionally? It's not about teaching respect as much as it is about nurturing their children.